Jaelin Caverhill

It is a bit of a weird experience, and continues to be, at least for me, to make eye contact with someone’s dick before them, but at Haven, nude bodies, explicit displays of sexuality, and undercurrents of desire are the norm. Porn plays on screens in almost every room, and it is not uncommon to see couples or groups engaging in sex acts, perceived, in this environment, almost as inconsequential as having a conversation is. Though there is explicit sexuality and desire on display here, it takes on a bit of a mundane quality. Sure, it can be hot for those who choose to treat it that way, but ultimately, it is possible to disregard it and go about purely social engagements — people often chat about TV, books, and politics in the pool or at the bar, while couples around them make out or have sex. I recall one particularly interesting moment: it was the final night of the World Series, and hordes of people crowded around each other at the bar to watch the last few innings, paying little mind to the nudity and sexuality around them — in fact, opting to outrightly not engage, in favour of watching the game. Noted by all my interlocutors, is the critical point that Haven is ultimately a social club, and needs to be understood as such, as this is the only guaranteed activity. For all intents and purposes, at Haven, sex is merely a uniting interest, whereas sociality is the constant. Though, it is important to note the exception to this rule: some patrons do only attend with the intention of engaging in sex, feeling like their entrance fee guarantees it. One of my interlocutors, Kay, a white, trans woman, tall, with brown, greying, curly hair to her shoulders, and black winged eyeliner under her aviator glasses, notes how this often leaves them disappointed, and deeply misunderstanding of the spirit of Haven. This is a place for connection and community, and this is a near-mandatory prerequisite to engaging in the fun desired, that can, most certainly, occur here (Weiss 2006)having met a few weeks before, Kay tells me that she thinks that “of every 10 men who attend Oasis, only 4 come back.” The club rules and environment created by regular patrons has a filtering effect for those who don’t want to engage fully, only seeking sex, without abiding by the rules of consent and norms of sociality established by the club’s cultures.